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All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Part 1: Waiting in Line

Music and lyrics by James Perry

I hate waiting in line
I hate waiting in line
I hate waiting in line
I hate waiting in line

I hate
I hate
I hate
I hate

I hate waiting in line, such a waste of my time
I hate waiting in line, such a waste of my time
I hate waiting in line, such a waste of my time
I hate waiting in line, such a waste of my damn time

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All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Part 2: Salad Bar

Music and lyrics by James Perry

Oh, these awful things you say
You take a slice of provolone
I take my plastic tray
And I sit down all alone

My plate is filled with linguine
But I feel so empty inside
I don't want these carrots and zucchini
Think I've lost my appetite

Think I took more than I can eat
The time has come to admit defeat
You left me at the salad bar
Tell me, how did we drift so far?

The tears roll down my cheeks
As I stand in line
I eat soup, potato leek,
Wishing you were mine

The buffet, is all you can eat
But what can I do?
I don't want this slice of meat
All I want is you

Think I took more than I can chew
And now I don't want this bowl of stew
You left me at the salad bar
Tell me, how did we drift so far?

You left me at the salad bar
The salad bar
Caesar salad, Caesar salad
The salad bar
The croutons, have you forgotten?
The salad bar
You left me at the salad bar


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All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Part 3: Kari-Kari

Music and lyrics by James Perry; inspired by Sherwin De Leon

Ox-tail, peanut butter
Could anything be better?
Kari-kari
Kari-kari

Eggplant, vegetables
Eat it up until you're full
Kari-kari
Kari-kari

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All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Part 4: O Banana

Music and lyrics by James Perry; inspired by Jason La Mar

I want to eat my favorite fruit, it's so awesome
Get my daily supply of potassium

CHORUS:
O Banana
O Banana

Bananas grow on trees in a bunch
I want to have banana with my lunch!

CHORUS

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All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Part 4: All You Can Eat

Music and lyrics by James Perry

All you can eat, go back for more
All you can eat, go back for more
All you can eat, go back for more
All you can eat, go back for more

All you can eat, go back for more
All you can eat, go back for more
All you can eat, at the buffet
So get yourself another plate

All you can eat
All you can eat
All you can eat
All you can eat

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Atkins Diet

Music and lyrics by James Perry

You want to go on a diet
You want to shrink the size of your ass
You've got to cut those carbohydrates
Baked goods are a thing of the past

Hamburger with lettuce for a bun
Eat nothing that comes from grain
You want to lose weight just like everyone
So eat your meat, eat your protein

Atkins, Atkins, Atkins, Atkins Diet
Atkins, Atkins, Atkins, no more bread
Atkins, Atkins, Atkins, Atkins Diet
Atkins, Atkins, Atkins, no more pasta
Atkins, Atkins, Atkins, Atkins Diet

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Asparagus (Can You Guess What I Ate?)

Music by James Perry; lyrics by Corinne Pickett, Daniel Sotirhos, and James Perry; intro concept by Corinne Pickett

Don't like the texture or the taste
This vegetable is such a waste
It makes my pee smell so bad
This is the worst food I ever had

CHORUS:
Can you guess what I ate? Asparagus!

Don't steam or fry it, or microwave
There's no way to cook it to make me crave
Don't ever put it on my plate
Asparagus i really hate!

CHORUS

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Bagel

Music and lyrics by James Perry; inspired by Patricia Caldwell

Bagel
Bagel
Bagel
Bagel

Bagel
Cream cheese
Coffee
If you please

Give me a bagel
Spread me some cream cheese
Pour me some coffee
If you please

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Bubble Tea

Music by James Perry; lyrics by James Perry and AndreA

What the hell is this drink?
I don't know what to think?
I thought I'd take a swig
But why's the straw so big?

CHORUS:
My favorite beverage in the world
Won't you drink one with me girl?
Let's go get some bubble tea
With those little tapioca pearls

Pineapple, honeydew, taro
Jackfruit, lychee, avocado
Banana, coconut, green tea
Passion fruit, soursop, strawberry

CHORUS

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Clear Your Plate

Music by James Perry; lyrics by James Perry and Rimma Dreyband

You don't like lima beans
You don't like brussel sprouts
You don't want to eat your greens
You just want to spit it out

You don't like Shake 'N Bake
You don't want to eat tofu
You just want to eat your cake
So your mother says to you...

CHORUS:
Clear your plate
Eat your beans
You get no dessert
If you don't clear your plate

If you don't use a spoon
I'll put you in your place
I'll send you to your room
If you don't wash your face

Broccoli is good for you
You should eat your cabbage too
Have a helping of beef stew
So now I say to you...

CHORUS

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Cotton Candy

Music and lyrics by James Perry; inspired by AndreA Emens

It is the color pink
It is not what you think
The sugar comes in threads
Flung from a spinning head

You buy it at the fair
If you were not aware
Comes on a paper cone
Now let the truth be known

CHORUS:
Cotton candy

It's made from pure sugar
The glucose makes you stir
The man gives it to you
Now you know what to do

Your pink treat tastes so good
Just like you knew it would
Your favorite summer treat
It is so good to eat

CHORUS

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Deli Sliced Oven Roasted Chicken Breast

Music by James Perry; lyrics by Doèv Mokwazyï and James Perry

I can sing a song for you
All about my favorite food
It's called chicken and it's great
Chicken will fill up my plate

Chicken drum sticks and pot pie
I love chicken, that's no lie
Chicken a la King for sure
Chicken casserole's the cure

CHORUS:
If I could I would eat chicken every day
Chicken salad, chicken steak, or chicken soufflé

Mother's rosemary chicken
KFC's finger lickin'
Chicken stew it fills me up
Lemon chicken says "wus up?"

Chicken cat food, Fancy Feast
Is what I feed my beast
Eggs are chicken's little ones
Not developed, underdone

CHORUS

Eggs - Crippled chicken in a shell
Eggs - Without them cakes would go to hell!

Chicken fried rice and chow mein
Orange chicken on a train
Samiam likes chicken soup
Shake 'N Bake, it tastes like poop

Oven roasted chicken breast
I like chimichangas best
Chicken quesadillas rock
Chickens, they say bok bok bok!

CHORUS

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Egg Salad Sandwich

Music and lyrics by James Perry

Egg salad sandwich
Egg salad sandwich
I am so hungry
Somebody help me

So good to eat, such a yummy treat, egg salad sandwich
So good to eat, such a yummy treat, egg salad sandwich
So good to eat, such a yummy treat, egg salad sandwich
So good to eat, such a yummy treat, egg salad sandwich, egg salad sandwich

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Fries

Music and lyrics by James Perry

Fast food
Hamburgers on your mind
Fast food
Go forth, here's what you'll find

CHORUS:
Would you like some fries, or an apple pie
A medium Coke, it's all joke
Would you like some fries in a super-size
Here is your change, it's so deranged

Chicken nuggets
Baked potato on the side
Chicken nuggets
Fast food will make you die!

CHORUS

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Matzah Ball Soup

Music by James Perry and Jessicka Walkup; lyrics by Eric Gottesman

Matzah ball soup
Matzah ball soup
I don't want no stinking carrots in my
Matzah ball soup

I want chicken broth, and maybe some noodles
Then i'll wash it all down, with a nice noodle kugel
I'll have some coconut macaroons for desert
And don't you try to stop me or you're gonna get hurt

I don't wanna hear you kvetch or complain
You should know my gall bladder is causin' me pain
I've been sittin' through this seder for nearly three hours
Don't wanna make me use my gefilte fish powers

CHORUS:
Matzah ball soup
Matzah ball soup
Hard boiled eggs
A nice side of liver
If i've gotta ask you to pass the salt one more time you ain't
Gettin' no dinner

A bowl of beet borscht
I made it with onions
I'm tired of brisket
These shoes are killing my bunions

I don't wanna hear you kvetchin' or whinin'
We all know your mother's turkey ain't exactly fine dinin'
I've been sittin' through this seder for nearly three hours
Don't wanna make me use my gefilte fish powers

CHORUS

Come on with the borscht!

CHORUS

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Ostrich Meatloaf

Music and lyrics by James Perry; inspired by Emily Osborne

One time I had meatloaf
It was made from ostrich
Ostrich is a tough meat
It is kind of like beef

Ostrich meatloaf
Ostrich meatloaf
Ostrich meatloaf
Ostrich meatloaf

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Pass The Beets

Music by James Perry; lyrics by James Perry and Benja Wiser

I'm so sad and lonely
Can you feel my heart at beat
And I am so hungry
Would you please pass me the beets

I just want to love you
I don't want nobody else
Won't you make me dinner
'Cause I can't cook for myself

CHORUS:
Pass me the beets, ooh-ooh

Don't you ever leave me
'Cause without you I would die
Now let's get to eating
Have ourselves chicken pot pie

All my dreams and wishes
They come true when you are here
Now won't you wash the dishes
I'll watch TV and drink beer

CHORUS

Sometimes beets, they come in a can
But now baby I'm sure you're cooking for another man
But baby if you could see your way clear
And take away these frozen pot pies and cheap beer
A nicoise salad, some borscht, anything will do
Pass me the beets honey, the rest is up to you

CHORUS

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